One Shoe.

My dad is notorious for being a little... distracted. He attributes this to having a bit too much fun in the 70's. Remember this.

Dad had been over one night. Approximately two days later, he called me. This was our conversation:

Me: "Hello?"
Dad: "Hey honey. Have you seen my sandal?"
Me: "Just one? One sandal?"
Dad: "Yeah. I can't find the left one anywhere and the last place I wore them was your house."
Me: "Uh... (starting to laugh) Well, I'll keep an eye out, but I haven't seen anything."

At first glance, this conversation might seem mundane. But then as you think about it, you realize that my dad called me, in all seriousness, to ask where ONE sandal was. Because my father is the only man in the world who could walk out of someone's house wearing only one shoe, drive the 15 miles home, wait a couple days, and then realize that he's only been wearing one shoe.




Side note: he found his missing sandal, days later, at his house... under the swimming pool.

On Large Families...

I am not cut out to parent the ages of three and four. Sev has been driving me absolutely bonkers lately with her defiance, arguing, and complete lack of listening. There are many nights where I have to give MYSELF a time-out in my room just so I don't completely boil over. Yeah, that bad.

My dad somehow managed to raise five kids (I'm the youngest) without jumping off a cliff, so I like to vent to him and ask him questions about his survival. Side note: in my family, there are three boys and two girls, and my dad has mentioned before that I was the only one who was relatively "planned for."

Pops was over for dinner the other night. I was preparing dinner in the kitchen while he rocked Atticus and watched football, and Sev was probably in another room destroying some crap or something. I started venting to him about parenthood. Conversation as follows:



me: "HOW!! How does anyone do this more than a couple times? Why the hell would anyone want to go through this more than once? I am SO not looking forward to going through this age again with Atticus."

Pops: "Nah, boys are a lot easier than girls. You two won't butt heads so much. It'll be easier."

me: "How and why did you go through this five different times?! Are you insane?! And I was the fifth and planned? WHY WOULD YOU PLAN ME?"

Pops, without missing a beat and still staring at the TV: "Eh... because your mom said yes. And because I was probably drunk."